John J. Kane

John Joseph Kane, of Exeter, NH, died peacefully on December 26, 2023 after a long illness. He is survived by his wife of fifty-nine years, Mary Ann McGeough Kane, his sons Justin Kane and Owen Tinti-Kane, his daughters-in-law Lee Ann (Dalton) Kane and Hester Tinti-Kane, his grandchildren Phelan and Isabelle Tinti-Kane and his stepgrandchild, Tig Best. He was predeceased by his brother, Robert and his parents, John and Alice (Flynn) Kane.

Born March 24, 1939 in Bronx, NY, John graduated from Regis High School in New York City. He received his BA at Fordham University, his MA in English Literature at Johns Hopkins University, and did doctoral work in English Literature at the University of Virginia. John taught English at Loyola High School in New York City and at Dartmouth College, but he spent most of his teaching career at Phillips Exeter Academy (1973-2012) in Exeter, NH.

While at PEA, John taught in the English Department, but he was also very active in the Theater Department, both directing and acting. He served on several committees, including Financial Aid, Admissions, the George Bennett Writer-In-Residence Fellowship, and various other prize committees. John also served for a time as Associate Dean of Students and in the College Counseling Office. He was the head of Dunbar Dormitory at PEA, was an advisor to WPEA (a student-run radio station), fulfilled his PEA coaching obligation in Tai Chi (which he taught himself from a book, lacking experience in any other sport), and helped to establish the first Asian Student Society. John was awarded the Rupert Radford Faculty Fellowship in recognition of longstanding work as the Day Student Coordinator. He also spent 2001-2002 on School Year Abroad in Spain with his wife Mary Ann.

Colleagues at PEA remember John Kane as “small in frame, but a giant in intellect.” He was known for quietly clarifying issues and introducing new perspectives at faculty meetings, as well as for his kind and humorous support of his colleagues in the English Department. John was “a multi-talented individual who did not broadcast his gifts, yet shared them freely. Non Sibi was in his DNA.” Fellow colleagues and friends alike also appreciated and admired the quietly astute (and deadpan hilarious) way he “viewed and commented on the human comedy.”

John’s students at PEA remember Mr. Kane as a “man of good cheer, well-known for his easygoing and approachable nature.” He was “a strong believer in the Harkness method, striving to foster a positive learning environment in the classroom and aiming to help his students cultivate a genuine interest in the English language.” Students noted at his retirement that “his dedication to teaching, work that he describes as ‘teaching the ways language can help discover, define, and shape perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and imaginings,’ coupled with his playful humor and animated spirit, never ceased to bring color into the classroom, even as we struggled to plow through Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure.”

John was also very involved with his community at large in Exeter, winning NHCTA  Actor of the Year Award in 1985 for his work with The Exeter Players and several theater groups in Portsmouth, NH. John served on the board of Prescott Park in Portsmouth for several years, and did extensive volunteer work with The Independence Museum in Exeter. Music was an important part of his life as well, as he performed in several musicals with The Exeter Players and sang for a time with the St. Michael’s Church choir. John also led the Shakespeare Society in Exeter, with participants reading through nearly all of Shakespeare’s plays under his leadership.

John’s family remembers him as an intellectually gifted, gentle, thoughtful, hilariously funny man who worked extremely hard, not only to reach the pinnacle of his career, but to make everyone around him feel cared for and accepted. He gave untold hours without complaint to his students because he knew in some small way it made a difference in their lives. He had more gravitas in his little finger than most people have in their entire body and was the best gift giver in the history of the world. “Grampy” was quietly spiritual and faithful in a way that made him loving, accepting, and forgiving in ways that many of us could never understand or hope to emulate. He did all this without bringing attention to any of it and without showing off, because doing so might have made others around him feel “less than,” and he would never allow that. He was content to be himself, to be in our company, to make us laugh, to share his knowledge when he felt it necessary and appropriate, to love each of us as we were, and to make his small slice of the world a much, much better place. He was not a perfect human, but he was perfect for us, and we were lucky to have him.

A memorial service for John J. Kane will be held on February 17 at 2:00 at Phillips Church, Phillips Exeter Academy.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in John’s name to Regis High School, attn. Kate Fiscus, 55 East 84th Street, New York, NY 10028, or online at www.regis.org.