Rose A. Lape

Rose Aylmer Lape, 82, died on Sunday, June 23, 2024, at Genesis Center, on Court Street, in Keene, NH. Rose was born on November 9, 1941, in Wadsworth, Ohio, the only child of James “Jim” Lape and Elizabeth “Betty” (Baymore) Lape.

Rose’s parents were both English teachers, which somewhat explains their choice for naming their daughter after the title character in the poem, ‘Rose Aylmer’, by Walter Savage Landor.

The Lapes moved from Ohio to Massachusetts in 1947, when Rose was in elementary school. Rose graduated from Wellesley High School, where her father taught, and then attended 2 years of college. She finished her college education later in life, graduating with a Bachelor of Arts degree from Keene State College in the late 1970s.

Rose’s family started spending the summers in Nelson, NH, in the late 1950s, renting a cabin for the season from Rodger & Frances Tolman. Rose met their son, Harvey Tolman, and they later married (1965-1981).

Rose always had a deep love for music and art. She played the piano and flute, and continually tried to stay connected to the art world, attending concerts and plays with her parents, amassing a large collection of record albums, and kept returning to drawing and painting throughout her life. She occasionally sang in church and community choirs, and while living in Nelson, she enjoyed learning to contra dance and even learned to accompany Harvey’s Cape Breton-style fiddle-playing on the piano.

She was predeceased by her parents, and three infant children, Deirdre, Christopher, and Margaret Tolman.

Rose battled with substance abuse and mental health issues for decades. However, she continually persevered in searching for answers and finding healing. Interpersonal relationships were an ongoing challenge and yet she longed for acceptance, understanding, and deep connections. After the death of her parents, (2004 and 2007) she found she was unable to thrive in an independent living situation, and had been a resident at Genesis, Keene Center, for over 16 years.

Rose’s religious faith was always important to her, and she gladly attended church services whenever she could throughout the years, including those held at Genesis Center, and previously at the Church of the Advent, in Boston, MA, St. Brigid’s in Lexington, MA, and Trinity Lutheran Church, in Keene. She also loved long walks, bike rides, swimming and canoeing, and the faithful companionship of her pets.

Rose leaves behind her children, Caitlin Tilton (Rob), in Englewood, FL, Gwyneth Tolman, in Keene, NH, and Colin Tolman (Cheryl), in Homer, AK. She also leaves her three grandchildren, Bronwen Trudelle-Tolman, and Eben and Etta Tolman.

A funeral service will be held on Saturday, August 10, at 11:00 am, at Trinity Lutheran Church in Keene, with a private interment to be held at a later time at the Nelson Cemetery. 

Those who wish may make a memorial contribution to Trinity Lutheran Church, 100 Maple Ave., Keene NH, 03431, or to the Monadnock Humane Society, 101 W. Swanzey Road, Swanzey NH, 03446.